You checked by the door. You always put them by the door. And yet there you are, doing the confused shuffle around the house, looking under the couch, behind the bathroom door, and somehow ending up in the kitchen wondering how life got to this point.
The running theory in most households lands somewhere between a mischievous house spirit with a terrible sense of humor and the far more boring reality: you moved them yourself at some point while running on zero sleep and even less brain power. The house spirit theory is honestly more satisfying, so most people stick with that one.
The real problem is the order of operations. Shoes before coffee is a recipe for exactly this kind of disaster. The brain simply isn't firing on all cylinders yet. Nothing is being remembered. Nothing is being processed. You're basically a very tall houseplant with car keys.
Coffee first changes everything. Not just the shoe situation, but the whole morning. The brain comes back online, decisions start making sense again, and suddenly you remember exactly where you put those shoes and why.
Hit ‘reply’ and let me know what you think from time to time. I read them all. Honestly.
Caffeinated and barely keeping it together
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