There is a moment, right before the first sip of coffee hits, where a human being is operating on pure animal instinct. We cannot reason and we have no social skills. Just narrowed eyes and a low rumble that loosely translates to "do not speak to me yet."

Scientists call it being tired. The rest of us call it being a werewolf.

The legends say that under a full moon, a perfectly normal person transforms into something feral, unpredictable, and completely impossible to reason with. But you do not need a full moon for that. You just need a Tuesday morning before the kettle has boiled. The growling is the same. The territorial behavior is identical. The complete refusal to engage with civilization? Absolutely lupine.

The only cure, as any reasonable person knows, is coffee. A proper cup. Black, bold, and taken seriously. Not a sugary dessert drink with a squirt of caramel and a name that takes longer to say than it does to drink. Actual coffee. The kind that reaches back into your DNA and reminds whatever primal creature took over your body that it is, in fact, a human being with responsibilities and an inside voice.

The transformation is almost immediate. The growling softens. The eyes focus. Words start forming in the right order. Civilization, saved again by a good cup.

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Roaster Notes:

House of Funk Roasting (​https://www.houseoffunkbrewing.com/collections/coffee​ )

Vancouver, BC

In their own words: “Coffee is so much more than a caffeine fix. It can taste like spiced rum with a jackfruit chaser; linger on the tongue like cashew cream; swing from sweet to tart and back again like a lambic or those sour candies that taste like more.

So abandon your preconceptions about coffee and discover what lies beyond what everyone else is drinking. Join us on a joyride to hitherto unknown flavour destinations. If we change the way you think about coffee, we’ll consider our mission accomplished.

Ready to funk up your palate? Good — let’s ride.”

Not your average roaster. Just sayin’

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Come join the pack.

des